First, some details: I am 34 weeks and 2 days into my pregnancy. And I've hated the word "pregnant" the entire time. I like "my condition," or calling myself preggers, or referring to myself as a crock pot. But for some reason the way "pregnant" sounds just makes me cringe. I'd even rather saying jokingly that I'm knocked up! I think it just conjures up images of single teenage girls. I don't know why- maybe it's too many episodes of 16 and Pregnant, but to me, "pregnant" sounds like a problem to be fixed, Like "I'm anemic" or I'm diabetic. but "Having a baby" sounds so much more positive! I'm getting something out of this deal! Awesome! And maybe too that "I'm pregnant" makes it sound all about me, whereas "having a baby" or "expecting," well those terms are more about me AND Millie.
Anyway. We finished our childbirth series at North Florida, and I am pretty sad that despite my best efforts to befriend our instructor, a newcomer to the area who I adored and sent several desperate emails to about things to do in the area, places she should visit, and the fact that Mike and I are cool fun people who tailgate to boot, she has not ever responded to those emails and only maintained an interest inasmuch as she was my instructor. But nevertheless we had a wonderful experience in her class and I do feel more confident in my decision to go from that coveted scheduled C-section I wanted in the beginning to the opposite end of the spectrum, wanting to wait it out for an epidural for as long as is physically possible. I came to this conclusion based on the recovery times, the difficulty that C-section mamas have losing their baby weight, and the fact that I only have 6 weeks off of work and want to spend as much of that with Amelia as possible. (Plus, there's the practical reason that apparently I can't eat if I get an epidural. And anyone who is familiar with my CBS- Cranky Baby Syndrome- will know that I should NOT go very long at all without eating something. I have unstable blood sugar that is far more dangerous to my health and the health of those around me than natural childbirth. I'm just sayin'.)
Since then we’ve also had my baby shower, which we held at our house and it was so much fun! Casual, comfy. We’d originally planned on a “bees and teas” theme at Fat Tuscan, and due to several conflicts with peoples’ schedules, it just wasn’t going to be as well attended, and so we changed to a Friday evening “Bedtime Stories” theme, with everyone in their jammies, “bedtime snack” pajama party food, (pizza, popcorn, yogurt pretzels, milk and cookies…. Yummers!) we had lots of fun games- a Rockabye Baby “name that tune,” baby trivia that stumped all of us, and a hilarious Bedtime Story mad libs that was just fabulous. It was a great party, with lots of great friends in attendance, and we made out with a bunch of loot too! Yay! J We had our maternity pics with Sweet Serendipity Photography that weekend too and are really pleased with the results. Now we have the unhappy task of deciding which pictures to purchase! We got some great shots at the stadium and at Lake Alice- it’ll be hard to choose! We decided to do a milestones package with the photographer so we’ll get newborn shots; 3-month pics (for holiday pics!) 6-month, 9 month, and year shots, including a smash cake session. Yay!
Now that those fun things are over, it’s a balance of hurry-up-and-wait and Oh Crap! We still have XYZ to do! The nursery isn’t ready yet, although Mike has been working diligently on the T-Rex mural, which will now contain Amelia’s name written in skywriting across the wall. Once that’s finished, we can move everything back to its home. My daddy is ordering my shiny new pink glider this weekend and I can’t wait to set it up and put the finishing touches on the nursery! I still lack the Jim Harrison Baby Gator print, some wall hooks, a storage bin, and a lamp. Hopefully those items will come quickly throughout August.
There’s also packing my bag- I’ve had a list of items to pack for over a month now, and keep adding to it, confirming with other lists, checking other baby sites and message boards for affirmation. I finally have my going-home outfit selected- (yes this was a big deal for me!) my maternity black leggings, a comfy but still cute baby pink tunic tee from Ann Taylor Loft (I bought 3 of these, which I’m wearing now over my current tum-tum, but they’ll make great transition pieces for that post-baby bloat.) and my comfy Jcrew critter flip flops that I have lived in during pregnancy. Millie’s going home outfit has pretty much been selected- or at least narrowed down. Basically we are lacking baby mittens of any kind, and while the helpful newborn care class instructor suggested I put socks over her little hands, she clearly had no idea who she was dealing with as far as proper accessorizing, so literally part of what has me up at 3am is the fact that I was at Target earlier and neglected to pick up baby mittens. Other than that though, Millie will be coming home in a pink Gator cap, a pink and brown floral onesie, and little socks that look like mary janes. She’ll have pink baby mittens, as-yet unpurchased, and will most likely be wrapped in her pink and brown leopard print baby blankie- I think it’ll be too hot for the blankie that her nana made her.
There’s a few key items that we still need- our baby monitor, a breast pump and accessories… but if she decided to come today I think we’d be pretty prepared. I found some great diaper coupons for Amazon and signed up for their Subscribe and Save program to combine with the coupons and get 2 diaper cases at 50% off so we feel a lot more confident in our gDiaper supply too. I think Mike’s nervous about our diaper choice, but if we just keep at it and develop our diaper routine around the g’s, I think we’ll be okay.
As far as how I’m feeling- well I feel like my writing has lost it touch. I wrote an article for giggle in June and have felt a large heavy safe-type door closing on my creativity with writing. I don’t know if I was expending that on shower plans, because I really got into the theme and ideas for that, or if I am just so baby-focused right now, but I haven’t been able to churn out blogs, or articles for GatorTailgating, nothing. It’s really upsetting given that I want to be writing all the time and yet feel so scatterbrained and overwhelmed when the time comes to produce something! I also am getting more and more nervous about actual childbirth, and also how Mike and I are going to handle this transition. We got a TV device to stream downloaded media to our TV (the xbox having long ago crashed- we’ve watched many a TV show from the computer monitor!) and we’re getting Netflix streaming on it. I’m worried because last fall we cut off our cable and I don’t want us to enter back into the bad habit of wasting away hours in front of the tv. We have so many new things coming at us- baby, football season, etc- that I’m concerned with how we’ll adapt and whether we’ll make enough time for ourselves and our marriage. But as much as I’m concerned about that, I also know that Mike has been simply the most loving, involved, positive husband and daddy-to-be that I ever could’ve asked for and as long as we’re aware of the possible strain on our relationship, we’ll take the necessary precautions to nurture it. I am hopeful, but still nervous about how we’ll do.
I’m also worried about pumping for breastfeeding when I go back to work… but beyond that, these are my main concerns! I don’t worry about diaper changes, having a fussy baby, being able to handle taking care of her. I just worry about Mike and me being okay, and whether I’m gonna be able to feed her once she gets here. So that’s gotta be a good sign, right?!
I’m still planning on going back to work after 6 weeks, and have lots of great programs to look forward to upon my return- front desk FAM trips, an ambassador program at Oak Hammock that I want to start, redesigning our .org website to coincide with a redesign of visitgainesville.com. Yay work! For now I definitely feel like I’m developing short-timer’s syndrome, but only because I feel like I can’t really get started on any new projects right now since we don’t know when Milliebug will make her debut.
In other news, my precious darlin’ Natalia is moving away to grad school in 3 weeks. I have SO not accepted this. She is moving out of her apartment on the 5th of August, and to Ft. Lauderdale on August 14th to start her new life as a doctoral candidate at Nova. I’m pretty devastated by this and can’t imagine my life in Gainesville without her! We’re both preparing for these big life changes and I wish I could be more involved in her moving process, I feel like I’m missing out on all of it because I’m busy being preggers, and meanwhile she’s been such a fundamental element of my support system here in Gainesville that I just know I will have the biggest, emptiest void after she goes. Of course long-distance friendships can survive, and thrive, lucky for me since my other lifelong bestie is allll the way in Pittsburgh, but nevertheless I will be crushed when she leaves. :(
Other than that, we’re waitin’ around for a baby; looking forward to her being here and getting to know her, and seeing how our little family does! I will probably start a new blog once she gets here to follow our many trials and triumphs as newbie parents, and am especially excited about an element of new parenting that I’m going to try to adopt, which is devoiding our entire family diet of corn syrup. I thought I’d actually been doing a good job of this already until I found corn syrup in my COTTAGE CHEESE AND PINEAPPLE the other day, an item that I just didn’t even check, so certain was I that it would not contain such an atrocity. Will be looking to Max Baby for a lot of support on this. :)